I haven't gone to church in a year and a half, so I've told plenty of (never-Mormon) people I used to be Mormon. It comes up whenever someone asks me where I'm from (Utah) or where I went to college (BYU). There's just no escaping that subsequent knowing look, and the question, spoken or not, Are you Mormon? And it's pretty easy to answer, "I used to be" or "I was raised Mormon." Because to them, it doesn't really matter. It's just another talking point. Or not. Whatever. In fact, with them, it's easier for me to be not Mormon than Mormon. It's more comfortable for all of us. Mormons are, well, peculiar. And sometimes that makes people, well, uncomfortable.
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I don't like dealing with this issue - I only went to BYU for a short while, but recently fudged that fact when someone asked where I started college, as opposed to where I finished. We were well into the second bottle of wine with dinner, and I didn't feel like talking about it. Of course, I'm also a mostly undercover NOM, so that introduces a whole 'nother layer of mess to the question.
closet NOMs have a whole new range of issues to deal with. Having people ask me bothered me greatly for a long time, and it still bothers me some. I hate that I feel like I have to blurt out, "I'm not Mormon!"
I think you're right, Z. Which is why I said, "Because to them, it doesn't really matter. It's just another talking point. Or not. Whatever."
The paradox is that it's such a huge deal to me, while they are oblivious or nearly so. Like someone who feels guilty about being caught in an act, but the person who "caught" them has no idea what's going on.
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