a religious holiday

Okay, so after all my talk about celebrating Christmas as a secular holiday, I felt the pull toward attending a church service this weekend. I don't know why--socialization, habit--but it felt like the holiday would be more complete if I attended a service.

I felt the same way on Easter, but didn't end up attending because my husband didn't want to go, and I couldn't bring myself to attend alone. Since then, I've come to grips with the fact that my husband will never attend, and that's okay with me. So I decided to attend the congregational church where our good friends attend, because their kids were to perform in the pageant, and I knew the (female! WOOT!) pastor is quite liberal about religion.

I wanted to bring our son with me, but my husband doesn't care to send our son to church when I do get the whim to go. I argued that it was to see his friends; he's only little and won't get what's going on anyway beyond the fact that his friends are up front in silly costumes; and he's going to hear the Jesus story somewhere, probably from his Mormon relatives, so it's better to expose him to the story on our terms, where we can talk about it after. Kind of like parents discussing sex with and introducing alcohol to their kids before their teenage friends introduce them in less-than-safe circumstances.

Yes, I did just compare Jesus to sex and alcohol.

I ended up taking our son, and he cried and screamed and pulled me back down the street toward the car, demanding we go home. Our friend met us on the sidewalk and told my son that there would be a goat and a dog in the church for the pageant, and that got him to calm down a little. It took some more coaxing at the back of the church before I could get him to sit down without screaming, but he did sit through the service. Bored as hell. He liked the goat and the dog, and he liked that he got to stand up and sing. But since he didn't know any of the words, he faked it and sang nonsense, or better yet, naughty, words. By the time the pastor got to the sermon, he was asking, too loudly, to leave. But he survived his first church service in well over a year, and he really liked the treats and the running up and down the aisles at the end.

And I had a nice time, too. It was the first time since leaving that I sang songs about Jesus without cringing. I guess it's just the Christmas spirit.

Have a happy holiday.