Thursday, December 14, 2006

first sip of wine

One day, right at the time we had stopped attending the Mormon church, I brought up alcohol with my husband. Now that we believed the Word of Wisdom was nothing but Joe Smith's way to please his wife (couldn't he just have tried being faithful, don't you think that would've worked better than "Thus saith the Lord"?), we could reevaluate the taboo against coffee, tea, alcohol, and tobacco (no, thanks) for ourselves.

So I asked my husband if he thought he'd try alcohol. --I don't know, probably not. I've gone this long without it...

Yeah, I said. Why start? It's not like it's good for you. It's calories and loosing control, and I have relatives who are alcoholics. Might as well not mess with it.

Two weeks later, we had our neighbors over for dinner. They didn't know we were once Mormon, and, since they're not from the US or Europe, they probably didn't know what Mormons were or did anyway. They brought wine. Perfectly sensible, appropriate, polite thing to do. But it threw me into a little internal crisis.

There were four of us. The wife we invited over was pregnant, so she wouldn't partake. And we didn't drink, which would leave only the husband, the man who brought the wine to be polite, to drink. I thought, this is silly, I can't decline wine and risk insult when my only reason for declining would be what? I used to be Mormon? And I didn't want to get into our history. (I still haven't brought it up with them; they don't know they introduced us to alcohol.)

I leaned into my husband and said, "I will if you will."

Yep, my first alcohol was because of peer pressure. And I applied the peer pressure to my husband (he probably wanted to anyway, I don't know). We didn't even have wine glasses. We drank it out of plastic tumblers with colorful stripes around them. I only had a couple ounces. Took it slow, since I had no idea what alcohol would do to me. I didn't even drink enough to feel anything, not even a warmth in my stomach.

It didn't taste very good. It was a semi-dry white. I couldn't tell you what varietal. (Why don't they just say variety? Varietal shouldn't be a noun.)

The next night, I pulled out the bottle and had a bigger glass. Let myself feel what it did to my body. I liked it. Not a buzz, but a warmth. It took me a couple months before I actually got drunk, in the company of my husband, a Jack Mormon, a never-Mormon, and some practicing Mormons (all of whom had their share of getting drunk in the past). My goal had been to get drunk, downing drinks way faster than I ever have since. I knew I was drunk when, on the way to the bathroom, I tripped over nothing, and lay there laughing while sober people looked at me thinking I was an idiot. But I didn't care; I was drunk, and I was happy as hell.

The hangover lasted until 3pm the next day.

Now, the first time I got drunk in Utah--that was a great experience. Salt Lake City, in a bar, listening to great music, with friends. It was a hooka bar and everyone was smoking from the hooka, but I just couldn't do it. Even though everyone was saying, "Oh, come on, it barely has any tobacco in it. It's fine." Which was probably true. The tobacco taboo is just way too strong for me.

6 comments:

eric said...

Well, there's a lot more damage possible, assuming a safe environment, from smoking (anything) over drinking. Drinking in moderation (ok, so some of us occasionally drink more moderately than others) is much healthier that smoking of any kind and of any degree, on any day.

Sadly, I don't recall my first drink as an exmormon, but I remember the first drink I'd had since joining the church. Rum and Coke, a small amount of rum, at my sister-in-law's house with La, sis, and her family. It was nice!

E

from the ashes said...

Eric- Oh, yeah, the health consequences of tobacco are astoundingly against smoking. Not so with alochol (in moderation).

In the US each year, tobacco kills about half a million; alcohol kills about 50,000 (not sure if that includes drunk driving accidents or just alcohol poisoning, etc); other substances (illegal) kill about 10,000; marijuana kills...0. (Numbers are estimates, of course.)

I can't count how many times I've failed my own word verification.

Sideon said...

I have not been to a hookah bar, yet. I would love to go. They are all over in San Francisco and San Jose (I hear), but I have yet to experience going to one.

My father is a Jack Mormon. When my parents stayed with us this summer, I took them on a tour to the Budweiser plant in Fairfield. He was in HEAVEN. He was like a little kid. He's drank Budweiser since I was a toddler. It's his favorite. Years ago we were at a microbrewery - he wanted a Bud. I will say he's explored other beers, but he's always gone back to Budweiser. That being said... my first drink of alcohol was probably Budweiser, and it was probably while we were camping. I know for a fact that he used to drizzle beer on the steaks or hamburger while they were cooking over the coals. I remember white zinfandel that my mom used to drink, too. And rum and coke with her as a teenager.

I just realized that I really miss my parents. They live in Texas.

Okay - I'm signing off before I go all emotional and (more) dramatic.

Threads of the Divine said...

That's awesome that your neighbors unknowingly introduced you to alcohol. I think this was a case of good peer pressure.

Rebecca said...

I love the truth campaign commercials about cigarettes. My favorite is the cowboy singing through the vocalizer thingy. Yeah, sad, but also SO funny. Which is probably not something I should admit.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

I don't think you are experiencing a "taboo" over smoking, rather a healthy, conscientious knowledge that it's really bad for you. We live in a time where we KNOW this is true. So....don't worry about that one.

I can just imagine you two sitting there at dinner with the wine, trying to look nonchalant, and I also wonder if your neighbors could tell there was something going on. That's hilarious.