Friday, December 15, 2006

first coffee

After we moved out of Utah, I got my office job. The first thing that struck me when I walked into that office to sign all the hiring paperwork (the interview had been elsewhere) was the smell of coffee. A slightly burnt caramel-ish coffee. I didn't like the smell. It was way too strong, permeating every corner of the office, and represented heathenism to me. The office manager offered to get me some coffee or tea, and I quickly declined. Thank goodness I didn't blurt out, "No, I'm Mormon." I've done that before, and I've regretted every time.

I still was a very believing, practicing Mormon at the time, and I'd never even considered wanting coffee. Not only did God disapprove, but I couldn't stand the smell. Or the flavor, based on accidentally mistaking coffee Jelly Bellys for chocolate or root beer or whatever. We avoided coffee flavored candy and ice cream like the plague--what if they had real coffee in them, and, by eating a piece of candy, I was breaking the Word of Wisdom?

The smell was strongest at my desk, since it was closest to the kitchen, where the coffee brewed in two pots, regular for the office, and decaf for the boss. Don't touch the boss's decaf.

After working there for a few months, and seeing everyone going in and out of the kitchen with their insulated, disposable cups of coffee multiple times a day, I started to feel a little stupid. Like it was somehow out of place of me to work in the office and not drink the coffee. Instead of giving in to the coffee, though, since I was still Mormon and still didn't like the smell, I started drinking the hot chocolate I found in the cupboard. It was just powdered swiss miss packets, but I felt a little more "one of us" now that I had a cup at my desk. I'm sure they could tell it was just hot chocolate from the smell, but no one ever commented on it. I felt a little childish, like hot chocolate is the kid's version of coffee. But I liked it.

Sometime after I stopped believing (was it within a week? a month?), I made the leap to the coffee. Was it the regular or the decaf? Was I too scared to touch the boss's decaf? Or did I try it anyway because I wanted the try the flavor, not the caffeine? I honestly can't remember. I do remember I didn't like it, even after I poured sugar and half-and-half into it. I think I put in two packets of sugar, and still didn't like it. But three packets was too much, too sweet. Did I finished it anyway? Or did I let the last of it get cold, sitting next to my computer? The memory eludes me.

I didn't tell my husband. It was my little secret rebellion for a couple weeks, until I found him with a cup from the local coffee shop in his hand. He'd been so weirded out by the whole purchase that he didn't even put sugar or milk in it, not sure how this all worked. Neither of us liked that cup, black and strong.

For a while, I mixed my cups of office coffee with hot chocolate, made my own little mocha. Eventually, I've come to appreciate the flavors (yes, flavors! who knew?) of coffee, and I can even take it black now, if I'm in the mood. One of my favorite late afternoon snacks this summer was black coffee and sugar dates from the Middle East. Sweet and bitter.

It took us until a couple months ago to get the guts up to buy a coffee maker. How can you decide with all those models and features? We just picked one that looks good, and it's served us well.

10 comments:

Carol said...

I first eased into coffee (as a rebel Zoobie) by mixing coffee half-and-half with hot chocolate. ;-)

-- Chanson

from the ashes said...

Maybe if I'd known more people like you at BYU, I'd have eased up a bit sooner...

But then, I did have the problem of the watermelon up my ass. So I probably would have brushed you off with disdainful judgment.

I apologize, even though it never happened. But I'm embarrassed that it would have.

Rebecca said...

I totally developed a Starbucks habit during my last term at BYU. I ALWAYS loved the smell (my grandparents made it when they came to visit), and knew I'd be totally addicted if I weren't Mormon. Even my mom - the Mollyest of Mormons - ate coffee ice cream (oh god - just THINKING about it makes me want to faint in ecstasy). This post made me laugh. :)

Mystic Mistress said...

I used to smuggle coffee & drink it at BYU. SCANDALOUS!

Sideon said...

I like a little coffee with my cream and sugar.

Baileys is nice, too.

:)

Loving your posts.

Bishop Rick said...

I absolutely love coffee. Being a convert, I grew up drinking it, so drinking it now is not a shock for me.

from the ashes said...

Sid- Who can go wrong with Bailey's? I've been through a whole Costco size bottle myself in the past 3 months. Bailey's coffee, white russian, on the rocks. It's better than ice cream for a late night dessert.

I can't believe there was so much coffee drinking at BYU! I'm scandalized. It's hilarious.

Some people just love coffee, and some just don't. I decided it was something worth acquiring a taste for [as I sip my morning home-brewed Starbucks].

(The word verification is focqejrs. If you read the j like a y, and allow for an accent, well...)

Sister Mary Lisa said...

The "problem of the watermelon up my ass" is hilarious. I had that problem myself.

I'm finding I have no real desire to drink coffee. I love the smell, but hate the taste, even in ice cream (although the cappucino Heath Blizzard at DQ is pretty damn good). I have read enough posts about it to consider pulling into one of those little Mountain Mudd huts and getting one, but then I ask myself, why? Do I need coffee to define who I am? Is this one of those necessary changes that must be made in order to be a better me? I doubt it. I may end up trying it and becoming hooked, but for now I just haven't felt the real need to (yet). Upon evaluation it has nothing to do with growing up LDS. I compare it to other things like: I see women wearing bikinis all the time in the summer. I never wore them (having a TBM dad who wouldn't let us even wear tank tops or play with Barbies because they weren't MODEST. Does that mean I should immediately go out and get one now, and wear it every time I swim? No. I may have been brought up a certain way, but in reality there are countless things that I don't do that many people do, and that's OK. I do lots of stuff others don't do as well.

It's highly interesting how some things grab each of us differently.

MattMan said...

You might like the post I made that had to do with my fire exmo coffee: here.

Since I was a convert, I already had the taste for it, and had simply denied myself the pleasure all the years I was a morg (and no, I never "slipped"). I like it black, but not so strong it feels like acid burning down my throat.

MattMan said...

bah, typo in my comment. I mean *first*, not *fire* exmo coffee. sigh.