love bomb
Since our awakening and subsequent non-attendance of Mormon church functions, we've been left pretty well alone. Within the first month of leaving, the bishop tried to schedule appointments twice; the RS president (a friend) asked why we weren't showing up to church anymore and tried to get us to talk to an budding apologist; I was given saccharine smiles and several "It's so nice to see you here" when I was stupid enough to attend an women's enrichment night activity; and we were asked if we still wanted home and visiting teachers (no, thanks).
After that little flurry of interest in our eternal welfares, we haven't been contacted except in mass emailings about baby showers, group fasts, temple trips, and help-our-neighbor-move-it-might-help-convert-him! requests, because we've been too lazy to just ask to be removed from the email lists. (I just got around to that.)
The silence from the church has been fine by us. I especially like that the primary hasn't tried to recruit our son into sunbeams. Such a tiny little act would probably be that last straw for me.
So I was a little befuddled when the doorbell rang last night. I went to the front door, and looking through the window saw two young, smartly dressed men I didn't recognize. I thought, "No way, they sent the missionaries!?! I'm totally not letting them in." But as I thought that, I looked at one of their chest pockets and didn't see the tell-tale missionary name tag. Then I thought, "Oh, it must be the stupid doorbells again." Sometimes when people ring our upstairs neighbors, our doorbell goes off by mistake and I open the door to some very confused-looking dinner guests.
As I opened the door to the two guys last night, I was about to say, "Oh, don't worry about it, the doorbells got crossed," and let them in to head up the stairs to the flat above. But the looks on their faces told me that I was exactly the person they were looking for. Then it finally dawned on me (all this took about 4 seconds): Home Teachers.
They were here to wish us a Merry Christmas (not the "happy holidays" one so frequently hears in our culturally diverse city) and drop off a present. They got in a few smiles and how-are-yous and please-come-to-this-or-that-activity, and thankfully never asked to actually come in.
They were ready to say goodbye when I reminded them that I didn't actually know their names, since I've never seen them before. (They, of course, know exactly who we are: one of three or four inactive families on their home teaching list.) They introduced themselves and left.
And that's the story of our first love bomb. I was kind of amused by the whole thing, really. I can't be mad at the men; they had the best intentions in their minds.
But the ward Christmas party they invited us to?
I'll pass, thanks.
8 comments:
I haven't been love bombed at all. My VT's still call to come over but I dodge their calls. I haven't told anyone why I am not attending church. They don't really know me there anyway because in the 3 years we have lived in this ward I have only been like 5 times and the last time was over a year and a half ago. I figure they don't really care about me, I was never a tithing payer and dh isn't a member so my lack of activity isn't a priority. Damn it though, I could really use some cookies!! ;)
**sigh**
I never rated on the Morg radar. As an out-and-proud gay man, I must have scared the beeJeebus out of them, because I was never love bombed.
sideon- You've stumbled across the secret to get the church to leave us alone! I'm sure it's nice to be left alone, but it's also sad in a broader sense: the church can't figure out what to do with homosexuals. I'm always glad when homosexuals get out of the church; they can live their lives so much more fulfilled outside than inside.
Perhaps our open drinking in places where TBMs in the ward could see us helped throw them off the trail.
I hope no home teachers get assigned to me by accident. I've asked to not be contacted that way.
Well, I do know that answering the door naked can make an instant impression.
I would bet you 10 jello salads that NO one would be back, or that EVERY new missionary assigned to the area would be back :)
sideon- you naughty, naughty man!
SML- I bet you are somebody's HT list. In the ward here, every man has 2-3 "active" families, plus 4-5 "inactive" families on his list. Including ones who asked to be not contacted. Once a year, they try to contact everyone and just check if they still want to be not contacted. "Hello. Do you still hate the church?"
First of all, best of luck continuing to break away. As a child who was forced into Catholic schools and church, when I became an adult (check that, when I went away to college) I decided no more for me but it was easier said than done. The break away process lasted a good 5 years of dwindling attendance. Habits die hard sometimes I guess.
When my girlfriend and I bought a house in Sandy, we were beseiged intially with baked goods, well wishes, etc. from what we thought were incredibly friendly neighbors. I told them all that we were not married (Strike 1), offered them coffee (Strike 2) and mowed my lawn on Sunday (Strike 3). We rarely heard from them again which was fine by us pagans. They are probably a little more persistent with former members though.
Welcome, Scott (if you ever make it back here). Good luck on living in SLC. Sounds like you handled it well. Define the boundaries clearly and early on.
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