learning how to deal with emotions
I promised to go through my exit emotions one by one. I've got a couple of the posts out, but I haven't been able to move on with the rest. It's too much of a jumble, it's too hard to separate them out, too hard to explain. It's hard to remember and confront those emotions. It's hard to know what emotions I'm feeling when I feel them.
I never learned to feel emotion. Really feel it. I had been taught and taught myself to feel the Spirit and nothing else. I was okay, I was doing the right thing, I was winning God's and family's approval if I was feeling the Spirit. Anything else was unacceptable.
I have to learn to let myself feel.
Let myself feel.
How have I missed out on learning how to understand and deal with negative emotions?
There is a trend now to consciously teach children to recognize, accept, and work through negative emotions. There are books like My Many Colored Days, Yesterday I Had the Blues, When You're Angry and You Know It, and Blue Day Book for Kids. These books are refreshing. They are simple, written as they for children. I love them because they teach not just my son, but also me, about emotions. That emotions are so much more complicated than "of God" and "of the devil."
And it's taking some time to figure them out.
5 comments:
You think it's an accident that present Mormons are affectionately called "Morgbots"? While grossly generalized, there's much truth in the total lack of emotional connection. Individuals and families have no way of dealing with negativity - they were never taught to do so.
I think of missionaries who just return home - they are expected to marry and start a family within six months to a year. You think they have the emotional skill sets to choose a partner that compliments and balances them? Their main intention is getting married in the temple so they can get laid (for all eternity).
Thanks for including the book names - I'm going to check a few out. I'm a big fan of Calvin and Hobbes, myself - when it's a blue day, nothing beats a little child-like (yet precocious) perspective.
Be well.
I think you touched on something that's been in my thoughts a lot lately.
Emotions are much more than just "of God" and "of the devil" and it's been interesting to figure out why I'm feeling what when.
I love your blog, keep up the amazing posts!
I've been thinking about it a lot too lately. It's something about myself I really only just recognized.
Hi, my name is from the ashes, and I'm emotionally stunted.
sideon- I met my man within one month of his return! But we didn't get married right away, and had some eye-opening and maturing experiences in our relationship before we married. Luckily, it's worked out well for both of us. But a lot of people...I'll have to write a post about how "eternity" screws up marriages.
We're not even supposed to grieve at funerals. "They're in a much better place now." "The Lord relieved his suffering." "He'll go to the Celestial Kingdom since he was only 6. Aren't you glad about that." No weeping, wailing, and gnashing of teeth allowed at a Mormon funeral. (Except over the funeral potatoes that got burned.)
Good point, poker. I never properly grieved for friends and relatives that have died because "I'll see them again," and "they're in a happier place." I also know some people who cling desperately to the church because they've lost a loved one and can't stand the thought of just losing them.
But Mormonism isn't the only church that teaches an afterlife! Other churches let families be together forever in heaven anyway, without the temple and the handshakes and the tithing.
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