telling his family

A couple months after we stopped going to church, we had a family reunion with my husband's family. His approach was to just let it come out, let them figure it out. He didn't want to say something formally.

So I just kept being my (new) self; I refused to be in the unbeliever's closet and hide my new thoughts, attitudes, and wardrobe. I took every excuse (sports activities, morning yoga) to wear non-garment safe clothes, something I wouldn't have done before. I boldly expressed political views that good Mormon girls shouldn't have. We skipped church and stayed at home with his jack Mormon brother. I said things I shouldn't have said about how cheap blow jobs are in our city. I admitted I feel embarrassed when I have to tell people my alma mater (BYU). I got drunk in front of all his siblings.

It was completely out of the blue. No one expected it. Everyone was shocked.

Looking back, I feel I went a little overboard and should have eased them in a littler gentler. I feel terrible that I acted like that in front of all his younger, impressionable cousins. But all of them got the message. Unfortunately, that message left us as "We don't believe in the Mormon church anymore" and probably arrived to them as "We are prideful sinners who let go of the iron rod and are wandering in the dark and dreary wilderness. We won't be seeing you in the Celestial Kingdom, but the beer and sleeping in on Sundays is totally worth it!" (Hmm, maybe I'll make that my new tag line.)

They all reacted differently, according to their experiences and personalities. My father-in-law won't talk about it to this day. My husband's church-going siblings will talk about it, but would rather not. My brother-in-law's first words were, "So you drink beer and everything?" As I've mentioned before, my mother-in-law couldn't speak about it for months, such was her shock and pain.

His non-church-going brother and his nevermo wife were quite shocked, speechless actually, because they would have never expected it from us. Once the shock wore off, they were quite happy to have another couple join them on the fringe. Where before, my attitude toward them was always quietly judgmental, and our relationship awkward and stilted because of the-religion-thing, now I could talk openly about religion or any other subject. The change was all me. They were always great people; I just couldn't see it because "they're not Mormon" was always somewhere in my mind. I guess it still is in my mind; but now, it's a good thing.