timetable of disbelieving and leaving

Common misconceptions about how Mormons leave the church prevail.

The youngest Mormon apostle, Bednar, said in a recent General Conference talk that the common theme he encounters in "less actives" is being offended. He said of his visits to "less active" members, "Many other causes of offense were cited—from doctrinal differences among adults to taunting, teasing, and excluding by youth. But the recurring theme was: "I was offended by . . . " At least he acknowledges that there are "doctrinal differences," but he categorizes that as being offended. He asserts that being offended is the main reason people leave, and asks them to just stop being offended.

I've seen other people take this a step further and claim that first we are offended, then we dig up all the dirt we can on Joseph Smith to support our wounded egos. For example, during a debate between believers and non-believers over here, someone, adopting the pseudonym of a non-believer in the debate, wrote, "I really have nothing good to say. I'm just grinding my bitter ax because I was once offended by the Mormon church and I have distanced myself from it. Therefore I find every bit of anti-Mormon literature, believe every word, and tell all the Mormons how stupid they are for believing this stuff because some guy wrote in some book somewhere that some weird thin[g] that makes Mormons look bad is true." The stereotype comes out well in this comment. He claims that the disaffected Mormon was 1) offended, 2) distanced himself, 3) found "anti-Mormon" literature that made "Mormons look bad," 4) believed every word, and now 5) talks trash about and to Mormons because he's bitter about it all. Huh?!?!

Sunday school classes contribute to the misconceptions. Classes I've been in supported the view that failing to go to church, read scriptures, prayer daily, etc., result in "loss of testimony," i.e. not believing. And, of course, "sinning" is a big way people stop believing, according to the church. They start drinking, smoking, having sex, and suddenly (or slowly, depending on who you ask), they can't feel the Spirit anymore, and their testimonies are gone. Poof. The Holy Ghost just can't negotiate through the clouds of cigar smoke, the dirty shot glasses, and the poker chips in the living room.

To be continued...