song stuck in my head

On the bus on the way home from work, I realized I had a song running through my head. Then I realized the song was

First and second books of Nephi,
Jacob, Enos, Jarom, Omni,
Words of Mormon and Mosiah.
Singing this is so fun!

Alma, Helaman, third, fourth Nephi,
Book of Mormon and Moroni.
We just sang our little song
About the Book of Mormon.

Where the hell did that come from? Just popped into my head, out of the blue. I used to pride myself on my scripture-chase knowledge of the Book of Mormon. I used to be able to say how many chapters are in each book, and tell the stories inside and out. Today, I had to go look up the order of the books. And that made me glad.

Actually, some primary songs were important to me in my childhood. I used to love "Love is Spoken Here."

I see my mother kneeling with my family each day.
I hear the words she whispers as we bow our heads to pray
Her plea to the Father quiets all my fears
And I am thankful love is spoken here.

Mine is a home where every hour
Is blessed by the strength of priesthood power
With father and mother leading the way
Teaching us how to trust and obey
And the words they teach are crystal clear
For love is spoken here.


I hated when they divided the verses between girls and boys, so the boys would sing the verse about the priesthood power. Girls homes were blessed by priesthood power too! I especially liked the first verse, because it reminded me of my family. We did pray as a family every day, and I have good memories from those times. I still like the message about love and family, but I could do without the Father and the priesthood thing.

Then there was A Child's Prayer. I never learned the song while I was in primary, but I learned it afterward from my younger brother and sisters.

Heavenly Father, are you really there?
And do you hear and answer every child's prayer?
Some say that heaven is far away,
But I feel it close around me as I pray.
Heavenly Father, I remember now
Something that Jesus told disciplines long ago:
Suffer the children to come to me,
Father, in prayer I'm coming now to thee.

Pray, He is there. Speak, He is listening.
You are His child, His love now surrounds you.
He hears your prayer, He loves the children,
Of such is the kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven.


I sang that song to myself whenever I wanted comfort, and it helped. The idea of God as a loving father-figure who knew and loved me personally was very comforting for me. Sometimes I miss that. Now, trying to conceive of God as Heavenly Father is weird and empty. In those moments when I try to think of believing in God, I never think of God as a Him, and not even as anthropomorphic.

These days, the only primary songs I sing--to my kids at bedtime--are Popcorn Popping (a celebration of nature) and Once There Was a Snowman.