the family

The family I'm with, my husband's extended family, is predominantly Mormon, with three families temple-going Mormon, one family Jack Mormon, and another an ex/nevermo couple. I knew this since I joined the family, though no one every really talks about it. Someone must have told my once, and that was it. No one asks why the one family doesn't attend or why the one doesn't believe. In fact, I wasn't even sure until this trip what they general statuses were until the Jack Mormon mom told me she still believes but just can't stand the time commitment, and someone else told me with ex-Mormon "hates the church." Everyone just enjoys or tries to enjoy each others' company. For the most part, they do, and I do. I've found I have little desire to talk to anyone about my leaving.

Major religious talk is basically avoided, though, of course, there are mentions of Young Women's or Family Home Evening or missionaries. I don't mind that at all; it's just a part of the culture. There really isn't another way to talk. There is an assumption, though, that we all hold the same set of values. Mostly, we do. Everyone thinks it's a good thing to be nice and to be honest, for example. But there are values that we don't all hold, like it's a good thing to go on a proselytizing mission for the LDS church. I just let things like that slide; it's not worth the argument.

Prayers are usually not said over meals on this trip. When they are, I just stand there quietly, eyes open, and smile at my son, who seems to be amused that everyone is thanking their Pretend Friend for the food when he knows perfectly well it came from the store, and the farms before that. Thankfully, activities were scheduled for all Sunday, not even leaving time for church-goers to pop out to the local meeting house. Whether or not to go to church with family has been an issue in the past and will be in the future; I'm happy that it was just a non-issue this time. I doubt any of the regular church-goers mind missing one week on vacation anyway.

There are some obvious clashes between one of the temple-goers and the ex-Mormon, though some of that is personality differences, I'm sure. Some of those personality clashes come out as Mormon-related comments, though, and it seems that the whole religion issue exacerbates it. For example, the Mormon complained about having a whole brood of children to haul around, and the ex-Mormon commented angrily, "No one's making you crank them out. If you crank 'em out, you take care of them." (There were already in the midst of a heated fight.) I tried to stifle a laugh. Later, when the ex-Mormon wasn't around, the temple-goer made a terribly rude remark about how the ex-Mormon completely lacks principles and rules. It made me mad, but I held my tongue. I hold my tongue too much; I'm just not a confrontational person. But it gets me through.