the Family Underground (the F.U.)

This is the first time with the whole extended family since leaving the church, so there are things I've noticed this time that I never noticed before. Like how there's a Family Underground: smoking, late night drinking, visits to bars. No one in the family is comfortable drinking in front of the patriarch and matriarch, no one is comfortable admitting that they drink. It seems to be one of those open secrets; surely, everyone knows who drinks and who doesn't, but the non-drinkers never say anything. The drinkers have coded looks, or talk in private to arrange drinking times and places. They pass by and whisper, "Still on for tonight?" Absolutely.

An interesting thing is that is seems that only the adults know about our leaving. The Jack Mormon parents, for example, directly invited me over for a drink. But when I had the glass in hand, their kids were sure their parents had corrupted me. I caught another cousin, one from a temple-going family, checking out what was obviously not a garment line through my white shirt. The question is this: Have they not told their kids because they don't want to gossip, or have they not told their kids because they want to protect them from us?

But it's also interesting that the adults do know. I don't know how they know exactly, who told them and how. I'm trying to decide if it's worth it to bother to ask someone. It just seems too weird to gossip about how the gossip goes around. Whatever the gossip buzz, I like the Underground. It's just sad that it has to be underground.