"I baptize you for and on behalf of fta, who is dead"

Should I never tell my family about my resignation? What will they think? That I'm a prideful, evil apostate who is so completely deceived by the devil that I would voluntarily turn my back on the church. If I don't talk to them about it, they'll have no idea what courage I had to muster to leave. They'll have no idea I followed my conscience and stayed true to my integrity. They'll have no idea that this route is initially much harder than staying; that staying without questioning would have been the easy way out.

It reminds me of my great grandma, who was basically inactive, drank coffee and alcohol. Never went through the temple, was not sealed to her husband. We never talked to her about it. We just visited her and loved her. It was a non-issue. But as soon as she died, talk began up about how we're going to baptize her (also deceased) husband and get them their endowments and their sealing. And their work was done. Everyone felt that Grandma wanted it done, but she just never got around to doing it. Just couldn't get past her laziness or whatever to get out there and go to the temple.

It never occurred to anyone that maybe Grandma and Grandpa never got baptized and endowed on purpose! What if she really hated the church, or at least didn't like it? And here we go, first thing as soon as she's dead, and (probably) go against her wishes and get her temple work done. What kind of family are we? We couldn't even ask her when she was alive, why don't you get your husband baptized? Why don't you get yourself over to the temple? But, boy, when she's dead, we know exactly what's best, didn't we? We fix her salvation for her.

It's an ultimate disrespect for the dead. I never understood while I was a devout Mormon why people got so mad when Mormons baptized Holocaust survivors or other prominent people. Finally, I understand. Now I am enraged over it.

Since I've resigned, will my relatives, one year after I die, think, "Hey, I'm sure fta really wanted to get re-baptized. I'm sure there was just some little problem she couldn't get over. Couldn't give up her drinks or her lazy Sunday mornings. Just didn't want to pay tithing. Just too intellectual. Let's go fix that.” And then go and redo all those ordinances?

Am I comfortable with that happening? No. Of course, if I'm dead, I won't know it. But if there is an afterlife, boy, will I come back and haunt the idiot that thought they knew me better than I knew myself! Right now, my only vision of the afterlife is what we leave behind on the earth--how people remember us, what impact we had on the world. In this sense of the afterlife, getting someone their ordinances, having no idea (or worse, having an idea) of what they felt about the church is disrespect for the dead and downright despicable.