lessons my son will NOT be spared...
...but I was.
-anatomy of the sexual/reproductive system
-Boys have penises, girls have vaginas (or, as he likes to say it, "boys have penii and girls have vaginii). My parents' version was "boys have penises, girls don't." Niiiice.
-STDs, HIV/AIDS, condoms, lubricant, spermicide, etc.
-Sometimes girls like boys, boys like girls, and sometimes girls like girls, and boys like boys, AND THAT'S OKAY
-The best way to understand truth about the nature of the world and the universe is through science.
-Literature (religions texts included), history, music, art, etc., are great ways of understanding humankind's search for the meaning of their existence and how to get along in life.
-Question authority, including mine.
-There is no way of life that is the best or the truest.
5 comments:
I never got ANY of those lessons either. My son, however, has received all of them, some with visual demonstrations (he's still a little creeped out about eating bananas unless he cuts them up first, but at least he knows condoms are available from convenience store bathroom vending machines, so that one doesn't have to be embarrassed at the counter).
I'm having a little trouble teaching him to question my authority . . . I was raised in and served in the military after all.
The banana thing makes me laugh.
One way I let DS question my authority: Once I gave a punishment for bad behavior (not following my instructions and whining instead; he is only 5), and he debated with me why he thought that was too harsh. He had a good argument, and he presented it without whining, so we thought of a new punishment together.
Another way, if your child is fairly young still: Say outlandish things and let him call you on it. It's just a game, but it lets him know you can say things that are not accurate, and he can question your statements.
But, yeah, that would be hard to get past the military thinking, I bet.
Somehow we fell naturally into that game. We'll intentionally sing wrong lyrics to songs and the girls will chime in "That's not how it goes!" We'll say something like "I'm hungry. Little girls look tasty." They'll shriek "We don't eat people!" as we try to take a bite. It's a fun way to let them know that not everything Mommy and Daddy say is The Truth.
My oldest (4) knows that I don't believe in God and we'll have discussions about it. She often disagrees with what I say.
Proud parent of a freethinker. :)
"Say outlandish things and let him call you on it." - My 6 year old daughter does this as a matter of course. I have to convince her of every little thing before she will agree with me. She's always been head strong and won't beleive me when I tell her anything. She believes she is right and I am wrong by default. It's quite frustrating, but maybe I'll turn it into a game, as you suggest, and try to get her to tell the difference.
I was spared everything you list above. I still consider myself very naive because I have had such a sheltered life. Nothing was explained to me and I didn't really have a lot of access to any other information so I went along being oblivious. I will take a completely different route with my children.
I was ever-so-fortunate! In most Sikh households of my generation - I hope to God this has changed - sex simply didn't exist. No idea where little Sikhs came from.
My Dad, who raised me, however, thought that attitude was a lot of dangerous hooey. I got in-depth, scientifically accurate knowledge, liberally sprinkled with good sense morality from the time I was very young. (It was made clear to me that I was expected to be a virgin at marriage. Dad: I know it's not fair, but there's no way to tell about boys and there is about girls. Hey, I didn't invent nature. But I would hope your husband would be as pure as you are. He damned well better be!)
Questioning authority was not only encouraged but demanded. It was expected, though, that you be able to back yourself up with logical, well-reasoned or at least funny arguments. Oh, yes, humour was also encouraged.
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