brave?
If I drank coffee in front of my in-laws, does that count as rude or courageous?
Either way, it's frustratingly lame that it even matters to me. I can't believe my Mormon heritage exerts so much control over me that I have to think about whether or not to buy a cup of coffee on the road to help me stay awake.
The coffee was good, by the way.
12 comments:
Its frustrating to have to second think yourself and how people will react to seemingly unimportant aspects of how you choose to live your life. Yet we know that these seemingly unimportant aspects, to us, are of such importance to our believing friends and family that they see our countenance in the flames of eternal damnation if we even as much as look at a cup of coffee with wanting eyes.
Your view on the topic has changed so drastically that I completely understand where you are coming from, and you have to decide for yourself if you want to deal with the consequences now or later. I think you can dive right in and get more reaction now, or ease into it and gradually it won't be as drastic.
I think its bravery as its something I aspire to be able to do someday.
/paranoidfr33k
I remember in high school, my best friend (a BIC Mormon), and I (a convert at 15) were talking about church. To my knowledge, he has never broken the word of wisdom. He had, however, slept with a lot of girls. And it was his sincere opinion (I kid you not) that my smoking was "way worse".
Now, come on....
paranoid- you wrote the blog post about the subject that I was too lazy to write. Thanks.
Dan- Welcome. Was he using a condom? ;)
That's a tough one.
I went so far as a to completely cut off my entire TBM family so that I wouldn't have to have arguments about every single facet of my life: personal, political, occupational, etc.
It'd be easier to just be yourself and deal with it.
Good for you! I think it's great that you are not changing who you are for them. I think it's okay to be considerate - but coffee? It's not going to harm them at all.
You know I think it goes to the frame of mind you have. I think if you are doing it and your motivations are to shove it in their face, then yeah, I would say it wasn't bravery, but disrespect.
If you can get past the stuff in your own head, then you can drink or not drink in front of them and it won't matter. Keep in mind that you are pissed not at the situation or them, but at you because you're still attached to how you are viewed by these people. I'm saying all of this with love and having been there myself. :0)
My wedding I had wine all over the place. It didn't even occur to me that it offended my family. Hell, it was a pagan handfasting, so the wine was probably a bit tame compared to the Denaii Elder calling the quarters in using her rattle....LOL!
Seriously, though, this is about you, not them. You've got to get okay with you and realize that some family will be lost, but they are only an earth family. You have a spiritual family with your friends and people who care about you.
peace fta!
I drink coffee in front of my kids and my friends, but not in front of my husband.
I know I will get to the point where I can just be who I am without worshiping "The God of What Will People Think."
Hell, it was difficult for me to admit to my wife that I'd had some coffee before my ultra-early-morning drive to the airport in Boston a few weeks ago to catch the return flight to SLC. And she's a post-Mormon like me!
She didn't care in the slightest, and I didn't think she would, but it still made me nervous, after how far she's come, to tell her.
I got a starbucks coffee from a vending machine at my new job (we are still in class) and the girl next to me didn't even talk to me until I threw the empty bottle away.
It's amazing.
My Mom came to visit about a month ago and she saw my coffee machine. She ignored it completely.
Thanks for all your thoughts, everyone.
The coffee wasn't about shoving it in their faces. I just drink coffee almost every day, and I don't like the idea of changing myself because THEY don't drink coffee. You know? I still keep it discrete--I won't bring a coffee maker into the house--but on that day, we were all together and had a long drive ahead of us. I needed some caffeine, and I hate soda, but love coffee.
I found myself in this situation just the other day, when my parents were in town. I found myself sneaking my coffee back to my room and thought how ridiculous it was that I'm in my mid thirties and can't drink a cup of coffee in my own house without judgementalism.
I always think it's a little rude when my youngest brother drinks alcohol in front of us, but then, he makes a big deal about how good it is and what delights the rest of us are missing. If he'd just have his beer or whatever, it'd be OK.
But he knows he doesn't dare bring it into our homes; outside he can do as he likes.
Again, I think the question is:
What is truthful living to you?
Post a Comment