Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Tracking progress out of church through General Conference attention span

I started watching General Conference when I was a kid, because my parents wanted me to. When I was in seminary, I started watching every (non-male-only) session of my own free will and choice. Continued like that for years. I liked it.

After I moved out of UT, some changes started. The first GC, I watched every session, except, of course, the penis-only session. Come April, I missed one and didn’t care. Ehhh, I’ll catch it in the Ensign. In October, I watched but felt guilty because of my doubts and let the Brethren’s talks make me resolve to do better.

The next April, I went shopping for new underwear during conference.

The next two times, I thought to myself, It’s GC weekend.

This last time, I forgot until someone reminded me. Then the next weekend, I listened to the exmo conference. I liked it.

There you have it, folks, conclusive proof that if you watch conference, you’ll have a strong testimony, and if you don’t, you’re on the path toward hell.

No Conference = No testimony.

You should try it. It’s pretty cool to be rid of both.

2 comments:

Christy said...

My jaw is on the floor. I am still shocked that there are people like you (meaning former uber-TBM) who are out there, who have their own awakenings. I think you are proof that we can hold out hope for the most steadfast. I mean this in the nicest way possible... and I'm so glad you're rid of both, too! :)

from the ashes said...

Hah! Yes, I was that uber-TBM. Even the very elect... ;)