Reevaluating my religion and world view is one of the most important events in my life. I rank it in the top three, up there with getting married and becoming a mother.
It ranks number one as the absolute hardest thing in my life so far.
There are TBMs who think of “inactives” as just too lazy to want to follow all the rules, or not really true believers in the first place, or as having taken the easy way out. That is utterly ridiculous. Staying in, taking the blue pill, closing Under the Banner of Heaven and never finding out more about Joseph Smith, never coming near the edge of the cliff, let along jumping—that would have been the easy way out.
But confronting my very being, looking into the inner recesses of my soul, and reevaluating everything I was ever taught, ever believed, and tearing down my world view, my comfort, my Father, my world, despite my old world view telling me to just STOP, STOP, STOP—that was not easy or lazy.