Monday, September 10, 2007

LDS library

Because of a water leakage problem, I had to pleasure (read: chore--I was the only one home and awake when it needed to be done) of removing all the books from a seven-shelf bookshelf so the carpet guys could get under the shelf. Some of the shelves were stacked two deep, too. But it wasn't all bad, since this particular shelf happens to be where my in-laws store all of their Mormon books. So as I performed the tedious task of transferring all these books to the pool table, I checked out some of the titles. What on earth is in a devout Mormon family's LDS library, besides Books of Mormon, triple combinations, and Sunday School manuals? I variously gagged, cringed, and laughed as I found out.

There were your presidents-of-the-church superficialities, like Way to Be! and the bio of various church, ahem, prophets.

Then the "deep doctrine" writings, such as McConkie's Messiah series, Doctrinal Commentaries on all the Mormon scriptures, The Miracle of Forgiveness (two copies!) and Isaiah for Today. Because, you know, Hebrew poetry figures into the daily lives of just about everyone I know.

Then you've got your let's-pretend-the-Nephites-really-existed books, such as Charting the Book of Mormon, In the Footsteps of Lehi, and Early America and the Polynesians. Also, a book about the Incas was mixed among these books, because, you know, the Incas were really the Lamanites (gag). And the one to make Nephites more accessible to kids: Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites.

Don't forget the homages to BYU football, either, with books about Lavell Edwards, Ty Detmer, and Steve Young.

There were even some potentially subversive we-used-to-teach-what?!? and Joseph-did-what!?!? books, such as History of Joseph Smith by his Mother Lucy Mack Smith, Lectures on Faith, Encyclopedia of Mormonism, and History of the Church volumes 1-7.

I was amused to find advice-for-better-living books, too, such as Marriage and Family: Gospel Insights, Fun for Family Night, and When a Child Wanders (there were a couple sticky-tabs marking pages in this one). My favorite by far, though, showed a man and woman in front of a rainbow, with the title Do it Yourself Destiny. Wow. I mean, wow.

The only thing more awesome would have been How Awesome Will it Be? A Teenagers Guide to Understanding and Preparing for the Second Coming. 'Cause apocalypse? Burning? Slaughter? All that? It could only be, like, totally awesome. Good thing I'll have plenty to read. Until I burn up like chaff, that is.

7 comments:

Sideon said...

I was going to list the quintessential "what should be in your library," but it's much easier to say what SHOULDN'T be there - like every damn book you listed :)

Michael Carr - Veritas Literary said...

We used to own a lot of stuff like that, too, not that anyone used to read it. People buy a lot of those books out of obligation, wishful thinking, or merely to jump on the bandwagon (e.g., Standing for Something).

Anonymous said...

My job takes me into a lot of people's homes. I always note what's on their bookshelves. Religious people always have tons of books specific to their religious worldview - baptists, evangelicals, mormons. This list isn't that surprising, but what is truly sad is the beautiful literature that could be on those shelves instead.

from the ashes said...

Yes, any library would be better off without these books, sid and cv. And KingM, I get the feeling these books were bought in the manner you described. The bookshelf itself is tucked away in the basement, and rarely noticed or touched.

Unknown said...

I'd really like to find a Mormon-written book titled something like, "It's Her Life, Let Her Live It: A Guide to Supporting and Being Happy with Who Your Kid Actually Is, and Not Who You Wish She Was" for my mom. I'm not sure I'd have the guts to give it to her, though, even if I did find it.

from the ashes said...

rebecca- That would be something, no? Actually supporting a kid in whatever she wants to do! What a thought.

Sister Mary Lisa said...

Rebecca, WRITE IT. Write that book. You rock.

FTA, you are so damn funny! I love the sarcastic wit in this post. Love ya, girl!