a little too young for pg-13
Okay, not really a Mormon-related post, but, well, you'll see...
On a last minute whim, we went to see Blades of Glory with my sister- and brother-in-law, and we took our little FTA along. I realized the movie was pg-13 before we went, and we've been quite choosy about what movies little FTA sees. But I figured since it was a comedy, the only moments that made it pg-13 would be some bawdy comments that would go over his head anyway, and he'd laugh at the physical humor.
The film went well enough for him, until we realized there was a bedroom scene coming up. In a panic, my husband and I looked at each other, trying to decide whether or not the scene would be worth me taking our son out to the lobby for a while.
I bent down to little FTA, "Hey, we gotta go out."
"Why?" he asked, his eyes glued to the screen.
"'Cause this is a bad part; you don't need to see it," I explained poorly.
I huge smile crept across his face. "I don't care." He tried, but failed, to suppress the smile.
That little stinker, I thought. He knows. He knows what's coming, and he doesn't want to miss it.
I looked at my husband and shrugged in a way that said, It's not like anything is going to happen on the screen. He whispered, "Just take him out."
I grabbed little FTA, knowing he wouldn't walk willingly, and shuffled to the end of the aisle. He immediately started protesting loudly, and physically. He legs kicked against my thighs, and I struggled to keep him propped up on my hip. BAM! His little fist hit my head. He's hitting me. SLAM! A right jab to the left temple. Everybody in the theater is watching us. FLASH! I saw a rush of light when his hand hit my in the eye. The hilarity of the situation struck me, and I start chuckling. JAB! Another fist hit my forehead. This would make a great blog post. WOMP! He pummeled me in the ear. I can't admit this on my family blog, though. It'll have to be the Ashes blog. I laughed harder at the idea that I think of life as potential blog posts.
By this time, we were in the lobby, and he was still hitting me. I let him slide down my side to the floor, and I broke out in a full laugh. With all the passion he could muster, he yelled, "It's not funny!" I laughed, "Oh, but it is, honey, it is." I bought him a treat to make up for the missed sex scene (great parenting advice: buy your kids treats as punishment for when they pummel you), and returned to the theater door to find another parent out there with his 6-year old daughter. I gave him a knowing smile, relieved that I wasn't the only parent stupid enough to bring a little kid to this movie.
I took him back in, and he almost immediately wanted to go out again. Why?
The bad guy was scary.
4 comments:
We need to get out kids together, because my hope is that one of my girls will marry your son.
Other than that, face it. You're addicted to blogging!
Hope I can see you again before you leave town! :)
shoot!! I meant to say "our kids" together, not "out kids". ugh.
Bwahh hahaha
That was hilarious.
Once my daughters were babysitting my son (he was three at the time) and when I got home, he proudly announced that they had all watched the movie Spaceballs together! OMG. I about died when he said "We're doing it for shit- loads of money!" He learned about bad words that day. And he learned much later that year that hot sauce, even a drop, burns the tongue.
With what kind of candy did you reward your son's physical aggression? Dots? LOL How old is he?
I admit, bribery is my main parenting skill. It works great. he he he..gotta love the Dots.
take care!
ja
christy- Yeah, let's get together with out girls. Hee hee.
julieanne- Space Balls. Nice. What a great show. My 3-yo cousin was really into that movie, too, until her mom decided to disappear the VHS tape. Haha. My DS is 4.
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